


Finding worth

by AlexisMayRose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Sam, Collars, Dom Dean, Dom/sub, Domestic Discipline, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Leashes, M/M, Master/Slave Roleplay, No Spoilers, Oral Sex, Sexual Roleplay, Sub Sam, Subdrop, Subspace, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:27:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5039260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexisMayRose/pseuds/AlexisMayRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a Universe where everyone identifies as Dominant or Submissive, Submissive Sam is struggling to deal with his feelings for his Dominant brother Dean. Unable to handle it he runs away to begin a new life. Can Dean find Sam? And if he does will it be a happy ending?</p>
<p>This is a WIP and I have written about 5 chapters so far. No idea where it is going at the moment as the characters keep taking me by surprise.<br/>There appears to be some abuse in the first chapter but this is misleading!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Nine months ago

Sam stared sadly at the outside door of the cheap motel room. Another room, another city. The night air was mild but he wrapped his coat tighter around himself, trying in vain to shield himself from the pain that was crashing down on him in waves. God this hurt like hell, it was becoming harder to breathe. The pain was too much. Faltering he took one step towards the door before stopping. ‘No’ he said to himself firmly. He knew this was going to be hard. How could it not be, walking away from the only man you have ever loved? Sam knew he had to do this, if he was to save his sanity. Dean would never love him the way he needed and he couldn’t put himself through the daily pain of being so close to someone he could never have. He needed to get away. He knew it would be agony for a while, but he hoped that eventually he would be able to manage, to move on with his life and find a Dom that would complete him.

Three months ago

“Please” Sam begged, not entirely sure what he was begging for, as he attempted to curl in on himself, trying to look as small and submissive as possible.

“Look at me” his Master hissed and Sam’s stomach lurched in fear. He nervously brought his eyes up to rest on his Master’s strong chin. He didn’t dare look into his eyes, knowing that would mean a strong backhand. He suddenly found his head jerked backwards as a hand pulled roughly on his hair. His Master brought his face millimetres away from his own and he could feel hot breath assault his skin. Sam felt trapped, terrified of what the other man might do.

“Have you learned your lesson yet?” his Master hissed and Sam could feel small flecks of spittle land on his face.

“Yes Master” he whimpered. The other man let him go and Sam immediately knelt back into the submissive pose, his hands in front of him and his nose to the carpet.

His Master chuckled darkly “I don’t think so, get on the bed on your knees” he ordered harshly “I’m going to beat you and then I’m going to use your body until I am satisfied. Then I might think you have learned your lesson”

Sam scrambled desperately to get on the bed, he still had his slave clothes on and wondered whether he should remove them but decided he should follow his Master’s orders to the letter. He was in enough trouble and it wasn’t if the clothes presented any access difficulties. His slave clothes did little more than hide the smallest trace of his modesty.

“Strip” his Master ordered sounding irritated and he cursed himself, if only he had done it without being ordered. He quickly divested himself of the small amount of clothing and then waited on all fours, facing towards the head of the bed and unable to see what was going on. He knew his Master preferred to take him from behind and right now he would do anything to try to lessen the other man’s ire. He suddenly squealed, lurching forward as an unexpected line of fire burned across his naked rear. “Hold still” his Master shouted, anger evident in his tone.

“Sorry Sir” he answered submissively, feeling cowed by the dark tone. His Master sent another streak of fire across his backside from his belt and it took all his will to keep still. The more that his Master whipped him the more submissive he felt, completely losing himself in the other man’s power. He began to lose count of the number of whips he had received and the world began to feel hazy at the edges. He felt the bed dip behind him before feeling the blunt head of his Master’s cock at his entrance. His Master pushed in, and despite preparing earlier it burned slightly as the thick cock penetrated him. He bit his lip to keep from moaning as his Master overpowered him and began to move within him. His head was pushed down onto the bed as the cock began to move faster, penetrating and dominating him. He keened softly as hands grabbed his hips and began to set a bruising pace. He felt his hair being grabbed and his head was hauled up until he was arching backwards, his hands struggling to retain any grip on the bedcovers.

“Maybe this will teach you not to disobey me, you little slut” His Master growled. Sam desperately tried to answer but the position of his head and neck made it impossible. He could feel his unbearably hard cock bouncing in rhythm to his Master’s thrusts. “The next time you disobey me in front of others I’ll beat you right then and there. Show them exactly what a little slave bitch you are”

Sam couldn’t speak he was so far gone. His Master’s words sent spikes running through him and he was completely lost to the haze. His cock was straining for release and he felt impossibly full as his Master continued to pound him brutally. His Master suddenly let go of his hair and Sam fell back onto all fours. He could feel the other man begin to climax inside him and heard him order “come”. In a split second his own orgasm was coursing through him. He wailed loudly, panting as the orgasm ripped him in two. He came down slowly, shuddering through the last moments of the climax and felt the other man pull out of him. He could feel the man moving from the bed but he didn’t have the energy to turn around, merely sitting back on his heels. A second later a glass of water was being pushed into his hands and he gulped it down gratefully. For a while they both lay on the bed panting softly until the last remnants of bliss drifted away and the unwanted ache began to settle in the pit of Sam’s stomach.

“How are you feeling?” Luke asked gently. Sam was smart enough to know he meant physically and nothing beyond that.

“A bit achy, but nothing out of the ordinary” he replied softly.

“Good, your ass looks fine but you might have a few bruises tomorrow. That was a little harder than we have tried before” Luke swung his legs out of bed and started to get dressed. Sam watched him in pain. He loved scening with Luke but he hated this part. He hated coming down from subspace, feeling so vulnerable and having no one to share it with. He needed someone to hold him as the pain settled in the pit of his stomach. The comedown was horrible and it was at this point that he vowed he wouldn’t do this again. But without fail a few weeks later he would crave it, asking Luke to take him down again. He didn’t even try to ask the other man to stay for a while. Luke had made it clearly from the outset that he was only looking for some fun. Luke was a nice guy, he always made sure Sam wasn’t physically hurt but he wasn’t in it for the emotions. Once Sam had tentatively broached him staying the night and Luke had just looked at him pityingly, making a joke that he was “young, free and single”. He’d almost had to beg Luke to scene again after that and made sure never to mention it again. He didn’t have any real feelings for Luke but he felt so alone on a comedown, he would have begged if he’d thought it would make a difference.

Luke finished dressing then leaned over and kissed Sam goodbye “This was great Sam, you were perfect. Give me a shout next time you want to take the edge off” he winked lasciviously before heading towards the door and leaving without glancing back. Sam stared at the door for a while before pulling the covers up and curling in on himself. He could feel the loneliness settling in and he felt worthless and unlovable. He didn’t have to work tomorrow and he knew he would spend the whole of the next day trying desperately to sleep away the pain. He ached for someone to love him, to make him feel special and wanted. No he didn’t just ache for anyone, the only person he truly ached for was Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey Sam, can you grab the rest of the Bournemouth files when you are heading down to records” a voice echoed from along the corridor

“Sure thing boss” he replied, rolling his eyes at his Boss’ usual unpreparedness. He liked his boss a lot but he was so scatter-brained and if the man could leave something to the last minute he would.

His mobile began to ring in his pocket and the caller ID showed it was Daniel, a man he’d been dating for six weeks. “Morning Sir” he answered.

“Good morning Sam” his prospective Dom replied, his deep voice caressing his senses. “Did you sleep well last night pet?”

“Yes Sir” he blushed darkly and lowered his voice “I followed all of your orders Sir” he informed the other man, remembering himself bent over the end of the bed with a vibrating dildo shoved up his ass, panting as he tried to hold his orgasm for the full fifteen minutes.

Daniel laughed kindly “Good boy” he praised and Sam felt a little jolt of warmth filling the pit of his stomach.

“We are attending the opera tonight with some of my friends. I would like you to wear the Blue suit I bought you last week and be ready for me to collect you at 7pm” Daniel stated in his usual no-nonsense tone.

Sam hesitated “Erm Sir, I was supposed to be going to the pub with some of my colleagues tonight, you said last week that it would be ok” silence filled the other end of the line and Sam could feel the negativity hitting him like a jolt “But” he scrambled to continue “I can go to the pub any night so I will be ready at 7pm”

“Thank you Sam” Daniel answered, a slight hint of annoyance remaining in his tone “If you behave well at the opera, I might see fit to allow you to stay tonight, I can think of a few things I would like to do to you”

Sam’s breath hitched and he couldn’t help himself from whimpering “Thank you Sir”

The other man chuckled warmly before saying his goodbyes. Sam liked Daniel well enough, he was kind, considerate and quite strict. All of the things that Sam enjoyed but…there was just something missing. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. He suspected it might be to do with the lack of challenge in the relationship. Daniel liked to be obeyed, something Sam was happy to do, but there was no deviation, either Sam obeyed or they didn’t have a relationship. Daniel liked things to run smoothly. He had been plain in the fact that he wasn’t interested in any brat like behaviour nor someone who would cause him difficulties. He hadn’t yet collared Sam and he had made it clear that he wouldn’t until Sam had proven he would be a good long term match. His friend Bes had said that Daniel was safe and had yawned as she said it. At the time he couldn’t understand why Bes had a problem with that. Of course he would want someone safe, someone he knew would look after him, wouldn’t leave him and would be there when he really needed him. He understand now that she meant boring and he was starting to see what she meant. But so what? He would rather be with someone he knew he could count on, and if that meant giving up a few fantasies well then it was a small price to pay.

“Hey Samalam” he heard a split second before a weight descended on his back. He laughed as Bes rocketed herself and clung to his back until he was essentially giving her a piggie back down the hall. “There’s my big sexy hunk of a man” she squealed wrapping her arms tighter around his throat in an attempted hug before jumping back to the floor. “Miss me?” she queried.

“Of course. It’s been three days without backache, I was starting to lose my mind” he grinned, teasing her. She screwed up her nose and pouted at him.

“Beeatch” she crowed before hooking herself onto his arm and parading him down the hall. “How much do you want to bet I can down more shots than you tonight?”

His heart sank briefly and he blushed furiously as he looked at her “Erm well…” he trailed off and she stopped and looked at him disappointedly, before plastering an unconvincing smile on her face.

“Oh well, you’d have lost anyway. So where is he taking you tonight?” He looked at his best friend, the larger than life sub he couldn’t imagine living without. He was so lucky to have someone that understood him and loved him despite all his faults.

“The opera” he replied, scrunching his face up.

She laughed loudly “So you’re potentially missing me getting drunk, hitting on the ugliest Dom in the bar and singing really bad karaoke, for a night with a bunch of stuff shirts.” She laughed again “Man I hope he makes it worth your while” she winked.

“He bloody better. I hope I’m not walking in a straight line tomorrow” he looked at her seriously and she snorted. He didn’t want to tell her that actually whilst the man was quite good at sex, there wasn’t much imagination in it, she’d have laughed herself silly.

“Anyway I’ve got to go, ring me tomorrow” she replied beginning to saunter down the hall. “But not too early” she shouted after she had rounded the corner. Sam chucked to himself and went in search of the dreaded Bournemouth files.

 

So far the opera had been exactly as he expected…boring. He couldn’t help but picture what his friends would be doing at this exact moment as he was anxiously trying to look interested in the proceedings. He guessed that; Bes would have fallen over at least twice, the Dom and Sub from accounting would be desperately trying not to stare at each other whilst nipping to the toilet every ten minutes, they honestly believed that no-one in the office knew they had started dating, and his boss would have suddenly realised he had forgotten to tell his wife where he was going and would be trying to down as many pints as possible in a vain attempt to block out thoughts of how painful his ass would be tomorrow. He snorted to himself at that last image and then dropped his head submissively as Daniel turned to look at him disapprovingly.

He hated these kind of outings, more particularly he hated how he was expected to act on these kind of outings. Daniel’s friends were all quite old fashioned Dominants, expecting their subs to remain pretty, obedient and above all silent. He sighed internally, he really hoped that no-one suggested an after party where either he; would be expected to ‘not speak unless spoken to’ or would be shunted into a side room with all the other subs, in which he would be ignored for his lack of upper class upbringing and have to listen to them discussing their fancy new cars or their lavish trips. He knew Daniel wasn’t quite as old fashioned and he didn’t expect Sam to give up his job and become a house sub, but he liked Sam to play along when in the presence of these friends. Daniel knew how hard this was for Sam and he usually made it up to him afterwards. Last time he had ordered Sam to pleasure him orally and had spent the entire time giving Sam explicit instructions to be obeyed. Sam’s cock began to show some interest in these memories and he forced himself to concentrate on the play to distract him from his dirty thoughts.

 

Sam was just coming to the best part of the Foo Fighter’s song “Monkey Wrench in his head when he was rudely awakened from his introspections by the sudden flooding of light and people rising from their seats. He looked around slightly bewildered and his gaze landed on Daniel who was holding out his hand to Sam and trying very hard not to grin at his obvious confusion. Sam blushed but placed his hand in Daniel’s and rose from his seat. “Try to look a little less bored and I promise to give you a lollipop after the show” Daniel whispered whilst squeezing his ass.

“Yes Sir” he grinned and the other man shook his head whilst laughing softly. During the interval Daniel stood discussing the first half with the other Dominants. One woman particularly couldn’t stop herself from praising it loudly whilst name dropping some of the people she knew. Sam did his duty, hanging from Daniel’s arm, smiling sweetly and remaining completely quiet, he definitely wanted that lollipop and he thought he was doing an outstanding job of playing the good little sub. He wondered if he offered to fetch some refreshments if he would be allowed to play with the lollipop in the car and was just about to offer when a voice behind him made him freeze, his entire blood running cold.

“Hey Sammy”


	3. Chapter 3

Sam turned slowly, scared to look at the man behind him. He gasped as he saw his brother. He was stunningly beautiful and he realised how much he truly had missed Dean’s face. “Hi Dean” he choked and he felt like his whole face had gone numb. Dean stood smirking lazily, a beautiful male sub hanging from his arm. He instantly hated the other sub with a passion.

“Sam” he heard beside him, from a voice dripping in disapproval. He knew he had broken the rules, he should have looked to Daniel for permission to speak. “Who is this Sam?”

Before Sam could answer, Dean stuck his hand out and Daniel took it reluctantly. “The names Dean” his brother smiled, “I’m an…old friend of Sammy’s” he smirked looking Sam up and down. Sam blushed furiously and lowered is eyes. He was in a lot of shit right now. He could feel the anger rolling off of Daniel in waves. It was obvious that Daniel thought Dean was Sam’s ex and he knew that the old fashioned Dom’s thought it was completely inappropriate and disrespectful for a sub to talk to an ex. Why did Dean have to show up now, when they were in front of Daniel’s friends?

“Well it was lovely to meet you Mr…Dean” he stated and it was obvious from his tone of voice that it was anything other than lovely “However it is time for Sam” he punctuated his name “to return to the opera”

Dean smiled and nodded “No problem, I’m sure I will see you around Sam” he stated meaningfully before turning away with his bored looking sub.

Daniel grasped him firmly by the elbow and directed him back towards their seats “Sir…” he began but the other man held up his hand for silence.

“We will discuss this later. For now we will watch the rest of the opera” he stated firmly and sat down, completely ignoring Sam for the rest of the show.

Sam neither heard nor saw any of the rest of the show. The thoughts were whirling around his head and he couldn’t wait to talk to Bes about it all. Why was Dean here? Was it a coincidence? How angry was Daniel and what was he going to do about it? Was Dean with that sub and what was the best way to hide the body? And how could he live the rest of his live without Dean? He’d tried so hard to put him out of his mind but it was all in vain. He missed him every single moment of every day but he had managed to get to a place in his life where he could function despite it and now seeing him again brought all the pain crashing back down.

By the end of the opera he was so wound up with all the thoughts that he was beginning to hyperventilate. Daniel ignored him until they were both settled in the car and driving away. “I do not like the way you behaved tonight Samuel” he began, his voice calm but authoritative as if telling off a naughty school boy and despite all the guilt and worry he couldn’t help but be slightly turned on by that. “You embarrassed me in front of my friends”

“I am sorry Sir” he replied softly whilst staring at the floor. He was starting to feel really guilty now.

“You know that I do not like this kind of behaviour in our relationship. I have to trust that you will behave properly if I collar you” Daniel replied in the same tone.

Sam curled in on himself a little more and whispered “Yes Sir”

“I do not wish to know about that…man and you would do well not to speak to him again” he ordered gruffly. He sighed heavily before continuing “You will come back to my place because I can tell that you are beginning to drop, however there will be no play. You will be spanked and will spend time in the corner for your behaviour. You will then be forgiven and all will be forgotten”. This was just like Daniel, to lay everything out so neatly

“Thank you Sir” he replied softly, grateful for the chance to unburden himself.

 

Just as Daniel had stated was exactly how it happened. Sam was placed over his knee for a thorough spanking that brought him to tears and washed away the guilt. It was all very matter of fact. He then spent fifteen minutes in the corner whilst he composed himself and then they went to bed. Daniel held him throughout the night but Sam couldn’t help feeling alone and he had difficulty sleeping. He couldn’t get Dean out of his head.

He finally fell asleep late into the night but his dreams were riddled with images of his brother. In his most vivid, he dreamt that he was desperately trying to talk to Dean but the more he tried to speak to him the further away he got. Then out of nowhere a demon with crushing black eyes was standing behind Dean who continued to wave obliviously whilst Sam tried everything to make him see. Sam awoke, sweating and panting. His muscles tense and his heart pounding in fear. He hadn’t had such a bad nightmare involving Dean in nearly a month. He looked at the bedside clock and saw it was nearly 8 am. He could hear Daniel snoring gently beside him and decided he really needed to make up for yesterday. He quietly scooted down the bed, finding his target which was already beginning to tent the duvet. He took the tip of Daniel’s cock gently into his mouth and began to tease it, feeling the member harden automatically. He worked it gently, beginning to drag his mouth down until he had engulfed most of it and then slowly brought his mouth back up. He heard moaning from above him and guessed the other man was awake. He took this as his cue to suck a little harder and was rewarded by louder grunts. After a few minutes the covers were thrown back and he looked up to see Daniel’s eyes blown in lust.

“Up” he commanded, leaving no room for disobedience. Sam let go of his prize and scooted back up the bed. Daniel prepared him painstakingly, which only served to both frustrate him and drive him closer to the edge. He pushed Sam’s hands above his head and rode him firmly. He didn’t like Sam to talk or make too much noise during sex and he found that without it he couldn’t stop his thoughts drifting to Dean, wishing it was him pounding into him. Daniel fucked him well, hitting his prostate in practiced moves. Sam jolted but manged not to cry out until Daniel allowed him to come and he couldn’t stop himself from crying out softly. He knew this was permissible as Daniel also had no control over his keening when he came.

Afterwards Daniel allowed Sam to wash him and once they were both clean they flew over to New York for a fancy dinner and a night in a posh hotel. Sam felt out of place and bored by all the finery but it put Daniel in a good mood and he was fucked a further three times before he made it back to work on Monday. So despite the unfortunate night in the opera it had been a rather good weekend in the grand scale of things. He really hoped it was going to last.


	4. Chapter 4

“Okkkkkaaaaayyyy” Bes stated looking at him quizzically. “So let me get this straight. You are in love with your brother, but you haven’t told him and you ran away without telling him and now he’s here and you don’t know why and you still want him but you’re with Daniel, who on a side note is one of the most boring people in existence, and your brother had a hot sub hanging off him and you don’t know if they are together and you don’t know if you’ll see him again and you don’t know what to do” she took a breath “Is that about the gist of it?”

Despite the unnecessary comments to which he had growled indignantly, she had it pretty spot on. He nodded “Do you think I’m disgusting?” he asked worriedly.

She snorted at him, “Man if I cut off every freaky dude in my life, I’d have no friends left” she stated. She sobered slightly, “Listen Samalam, you know you’re not the first sub to fall for his Dom elder sibling and you sure as hell won’t be the last, that’s why it’s not illegal anymore. Sure I wouldn’t go shouting it from the treetops but really it’s nobody else’s business” she smiled warmly at him. “You’ve told me a lot about this gorgeous elder brother but in six months you never thought to mention you were in love with him” she punched him roughly on the arm “All those months missing out on the juicy gossip, how dare you deprive me”

Sam couldn’t stop himself from laughing, man he loved this woman. “I love you, you know”.

She screwed up her nose at him “Yuck, mushy stuff” she began throwing her arms around dramatically as if trying to get rid of some nasty bugs “Get it off, get it off” They both ended up giggling like lunatics before agreeing to meet for drinks that evening because as Bes put it she “nnnnneeeeeeeeeeededdddd” to know all the juicy details. He had a free night and he couldn’t think of many things he’d rather do than spend the night talking about the man he loved.

 

“So she told her that she wasn’t going to put up with it anymore, that she was only seeing her because she was convenient and then threw up on her shoe” Bes was laughing the whole time, tears streaming down her face as she attempted to tell Sam some of the stories from the staff night out. Sam was laughing so hard he was having difficulty breathing, clutching onto his pint to steady himself. He was only on his second pint and yet the stories had descended into vulgar hilarity.

“So what’s so funny then?” a voice asked from behind him

The smile was instantly erased from Sam’s face and he looked at Bes in alarm. She immediately picked up on his discomfort and thinking it was some cheesy pick up line she was about to tell the person to “Bugger off” when he shook his head minutely.

“Hi Dean” He watched as Bes’ eyes grew to saucers and began flicking between himself and his brother, who was now perching himself on the spare stool at the table.

“Hi Sammy.” Dean purred, flashing his hundred watt smile at him. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

Sam frowned at his brother before turning to Bes whose eyes had refused to come down from her hairline. “Bes this is my brother Dean, Dean this is my best friend Bes”

Dean flashed her another smile, holding out his hand to shake. She smiled shyly and shook it but didn’t say a word. Sam hated how Dean at the ability to make every Sub in his path turn to a bundle of hormone ridden giggling imbeciles. Even Bes was no exception.

Eventually she turned away from Dean’s smug face to lean into Sam, “Want me to go or stay?” she asked quietly, her voice drowned out to everyone else by the music. He sighed heavily, agreeing that it would be best if she went. He kissed her goodbye and watched as she blushed when Dean shot her another of his gorgeous smiles.

“What do you want Dean” he asked, trying to sound put out.

Dean’s charming smile fell away and he looked at him seriously, hints of anger flashing in his eyes. “Let’s go next door, I can’t hear myself think in here and I’m hungry.” It was clear this was an order and Sam nodded obediently, grabbing his coat and following Dean to the café next door.

After ordering, Dean turned to him “So Sam, what was all this about?” Sam really wanted to drop his eyes and beg forgiveness but he refused to let his brother see his pain. “You just disappear one morning. No word, no explanation. I didn’t have a fuckin clue what had happened to you” his voice had risen and he took a breath trying to calm himself “I thought you had been taking, I searched for you for months and then find you living the high life, going to the opera and drinking cocktails” Sam ducked his eyes in shame and the silence was piercing between them

“What could I have done that was so bad that you had to run away without any kind of explanation” Sam’s head shot up at that and he couldn’t miss the obvious pain in Dean’s eyes. Oh he had really fucked up. He was selfishly thinking of his own needs without once considering how much this would impact his brother.

“I’m sorry Dean” he said truthfully. “I never meant for you to get hurt. You did nothing wrong but I can’t explain to you why I left”

Dean sighed “Again with the secrets Sam. I don’t understand what could be so bad that you can’t tell me”

His brother looked at him with such disappointment that it was heart-breaking. “Are you going to stick around for a while?” Sam asked tentatively, dreading the answer either way.

“Are you sure that your lover wouldn’t mind?” Dean teased, instantly falling back into the old habit of covering up all his feelings with jokes.

“Em” he hesitated “Daniel doesn’t want me talking to you, but then he thinks you’re my ex” something flashed across Dean’s eyes as he said that, something that Sam couldn’t interpret.

“Well we’ll just have to keep it on the down low for a while. I need to see you Sam, make sure you’re alright for a while and then if it’s truly what you want I’ll leave and you’ll never be bothered by me again” Dean said sincerely. Sam’s heart was breaking all over again but he had no way of telling Dean that actually the last thing he wanted was for him to leave again. “So” Dean continued “Tell me about that sub you were with earlier” he grinned “She seemed a bit wild” he winked and Sam’s heart broke for the second time that night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I will be able to post until next week. Thanks to all those who have read this far and to those who have commented. It makes me very happy. Xx

“Samalamalamalam” Bes sang to him, giving him a big cheesy grin.

“And to what do I owe the glory of the extra amalams?” he asked amusedly.

“You are my favouritest person in the whole wide world…and I need a favour” she replied baring her teeth in what he assumed was supposed to be an endearing grin, but rather came off as the Cheshire cat having a stroke.

“Go on” he replied warily.

“I have a fourth date tonight with that gorgeous Dom from the coffee hole up the road. He wants to take me to the new restaurant, “Malkies” in town, as he knows one of the bar staff and can get us in… but it’s one of these vip like places and you can only go in if there are four of you as they don’t want empty seats at the table, hence where you come in” she looked at him with big puppy dog eyes.

He sighed, “I was supposed to be meeting my brother tonight. I haven’t seen him since that night…”

“Perfect” she interrupted, “Bring him, he could be your plus one” she hopped up and down excitedly, her long brown hair bouncing and her glasses barely remaining on her head.

He had a really bad feeling about this. He hadn’t seen his brother in over a week, since the night in the pub. Between Daniel and his work, he’d had no time, but it was Friday night, Daniel was away on business and he had agreed to meet his brother. He wasn’t sure how rational it was to take Dean on a pseudo-date but he couldn’t let his best friend down. “Fine, but I’m buggering off before you two starting making kissy faces at each other”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way” she winked, “So…a date with your brother” she laughed and bounced out of reach of his swatting hand, taking off down the corridor as he mouthed obscenities at her.

She rounded the corner and then popped her head back, smiling evily “Oh Sam?” she sing-songed “I forgot to mention that all subs have to be leashed on entry” He looked at her flabbergasted before aiming his empty water bottle straight for her head.

 

Dean picked him up in the impala, and Sam was weirdly excited to see it. It brought back fond memories of their adventures. He felt a pang of sadness that he wouldn’t be able to go on any more hunts but he felt his sanity was a more pressing concern, and wouldn’t be helped by having even more contact with Dean.

“Hey little brother” Dean greeted as Sam slid into the familiar seat, with the familiar scents.

“Hey” he replied. Silence filled the car for a few moments, an underlying tension that was difficult for Sam to sit with. He could feel his brother’s continued anger and disappointment and it made him cringe internally “What have you been up to?” he asked, in an effort to break the silence.

“Small case” his brother replied dismissively.

“Really, what?” Sam inquired without thinking.

“Nothing for you to worry about Sam” again Dean was quite dismissive in his answers

“Dean” Sam began “Look I know you’re angry with me and pissed off that I won’t tell you why I left but I honestly want to know what you’ve been up to”

His brother looked at him inquiringly “Some Psychics have been disappearing. There hasn’t been much to go on but this is the third one in the area in the last four months.”

“Any clues?”

“Not much, except it was clear they were drugged before being taken and it’s likely that they are still within the area”

“Want me to help with some research?” he asked hopefully.

Dean didn’t speak for a few moments as if hesitating but then simply replied “Sure”.

 

“Aww c’mon Sammy boy” Dean laughed as Sam stood with his arms crossed and shooting daggers at his brother. “It’s not like it’s the first time I ever leashed you”

“Yes but I was a teenager. You’ve never leashed me as an adult, it’s humiliating” he stated snarkily.

“Well right now you’re acting just like a teenager so we’re all good” Dean smirked, which only served to intensify Sam’s glare. His brother didn’t know that the real reason he didn’t want to be leashed was because it felt too personal, something that should be done between lovers. Leashing signified some sort of ownership, even if only for the night, and for many was a highly significant act. It was a symbol of trust and power exchange. He was one of the subs who didn’t approve of restaurants ordering leashing outside of a bonded relationship. Unfortunately it seemed to be becoming a new fad, as if forgetting the true history of the leash. Originally it had been used in a time when subs were seen as little more than slaves. They were sold off by their parents and leashes were mandatory for all subs outside of the home, on the rare occasions that they were allowed out of the home. As understanding and human rights progressed subs began to develop freedoms and rights and over the space of hundreds of years their position in society increased. At one point leashes were banned by the government as they were seen as a symbol of oppression, however gradually it was fazed back in as both dynamics realised it was something which provided them with things they needed in the relationship. For subs this was comfort, a sense of security and of providing tangible proof that they had chosen to accept their dynamic and trust in another to care for them. For the Dominants it also provided this tangible link of trust and of their commitment to the well being of their charge but also allowed them to mark their ownership in the face of rivals, thus quelling the more primal aspect of their nature. For some these aspects were still strong and for others, mainly the younger generations, a leash had become little more than an accessory or sex toy.

“Look Sam I know how you feel” Dean said seriously and Sam could feel the bottom drop out of his stomach. Did Dean really know how much he loved him? “I know what leashing means to you and I feel the same, but it’s not as if it is a stranger. I’m your brother, one of the first people to ever love you” he smiled and Sam’s heart started again. He felt both relieved and disappointed, he had hoped for a tiny second that his secret was finally out. “And don’t you want to support your friend?” Sam sighed, relenting and raised his head to allow his brother to clip the leash to the temporary collar he had put on before leaving the house.

Dean pulled the leash from his pocket and moved forward to clip it to the collar. Sam could feel his brother’s presence around him, could feel the warmth of his hands as they brushed against his chin and could smell the familiar masculine scent that had always provided such comfort and safety. He automatically began to relax into his brother’s natural dominance. Dean had never had to try with his dominance as some did, it was as natural to him as breathing and ran deep to his core. Sam himself had never had to act submissive, never had to force himself, it had always felt easy and right. As others had been experimenting with their sexuality he had known from a very young age his own dynamic.

As soon as Dean clipped the leash, Sam knew it was wrong. He could feel his natural submission asserting itself and sexual desire began to flood through his system. He wanted nothing more than for his brother to claim him in that moment. It was too much, he was overloading with emotions that he couldn’t do anything with and he was beginning to hyperventilate. He was struggling to make sense of what was going on as if a thick fog had suddenly descended around him

“Sam” look at me, his brother ordered. Sam raised his eyes, finding the warmth of those familiar eyes. “I want you to breathe Sam” Even through his fog he could anchor to Dean’s voice. His body followed the order without thought. He could feel Dean’s hand on his cheek, steadying him, calming him. “On your knees boy” Again Sam obeyed without thought and his body responded to the safety of being on his knees, of following orders and being cared for. He could feel the fog lifting as he anchored more and more to the physical world. “Good boy” his brother praised softly, rubbing his hand down his cheeks “That’s it, just breathe” Sam breathed slowly, feeling the calm settle over him and allowing him to safely return to a balanced state. He eventually came back to himself, feeling humiliated by the spectacle he had just made of himself.

“I’m s…” he began. Dean silenced him by placing a finger over his lips and then lifting his chin so he was forced to look directly at him. His smile was warm but his eyes held a different emotion, one Sam couldn’t discern.

“Don’t apologise Sam, there is no need to. It was my pleasure to take care of you when you needed me and I thank you for allowing me this” He smiled again and Sam blushed, his emotions racing, “Come on we will take a quick walk so we can both get our breath back and then if you feel ready we will go to the restaurant”. Sam nodded obediently, willing to do anything his brother said at that moment. If Dean was a little possessive during the walk, glaring at everyone that went past and if he couldn’t stop himself from touching Sam, well then Sam would chalk that up to residual dominant instincts and wouldn’t let himself hope that there was any other meaning.


	6. Chapter 6

The rest of the evening had been awkward to say the least. They had stayed for about an hour, realised they couldn’t hear each other over the booming music and had decided to leave. Sam had continued to feel humiliated, wondering what his brother had thought of his freak out. Did Dean realise it was connected to his feelings for his brother or did he just assume it was a reaction to the leashing itself? Dean hadn’t been able to say much to him but had continued to touch him subtly, brushing his fingers over his arm or the tips of his fingers. If it had been anyone else, Sam would have assumed the person was flirting with him, letting him know his intentions, but Sam knew it was just Dean reassuring himself that his brother was ok. Despite Dean’s gruff exterior Sam knew he was an amazing Dom, hell he’d looked after Sam his whole life, never expecting anything in return.  

Dean had dropped him off at home and made him promise to call in the morning but now it was 3 in the morning and he was struggling to sleep. He couldn’t stop replaying the night over and over in his mind. His emotions were everywhere. He was; embarrassed, reassured, sad, turned on, desolate and a hundred other nameless emotions. Despite the awkwardness he had loved the feeling of Dean looking after him and of being on his knees following his orders. It made him feel worse because now he’d had a taste of what he could never have.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his ruminations and he was immediately alert for any danger, grabbing his knife from his side table. Years living on the road and hunting demons kept him wary and prepared. He peered through the peephole and frowned when he realised it was his brother. “Dean?” he queried as he opened the door, stepping back to allow his brother to enter.

“Hey” Dean replied awkwardly, entering the apartment and turning to wait on Sam closing the door. “Sorry” he said, coughing in embarrassment and Sam was amused to see some red creep up into his brother’s face. “You can call me an old fishwife but I couldn’t stop this nagging feeling that I needed to check on you”.

“I’m fine Dean” Sam said quickly, stepping away from the door and busying himself with pulling some water from the fridge. He felt humiliated and pathetic that Dean had felt he had to look after him still.

“I know you are Sammy. I’m sorry” Dean replied sincerely. Sam turned to look at him inquisitively. “I can’t help how I feel Sam, I need to know you are OK, I…” he trailed off frustrated.

Sam’s stomach lurched, what was Dean saying?

“It’s a Dom thing Sammy” he finished running his fingers through his hair as if trying to find something to do “I can’t watch a sub in distress and not want to do something”

Of course that was all it was, it wouldn’t have mattered who the sub was. Sam could feel an inexplicable anger rising in him. “I said I was fine Dean” he barked. Dean stopped his fidgeting, taken aback at his brother’s attitude. “No need for you to check up on your pathetic little brother…” he snapped slamming the fridge door shut.

“That’s not what I meant…” Dean began but Sam cut him off.

“So now you’ve done your Domly duty, you can leave Dean” He could see his brother trying to cut in but he couldn’t stop the torrent of emotions that were beginning to overwhelm him. “You don’t have to look after me anymore you know, you’ve done your duty. I’m not some pathetic little kid anymore Dean” he could hear his voice rising despite desperately trying to seem like he wasn’t losing the rag.

“Sam…” Dean began but again he was stopped.

“No Dean, you just swan in here thinking I can’t look after myself, that I need taken care of and you can be the big conquering hero. I’ve managed on my own for ten months without any help from you” he could see that his words were hurting his brother but he couldn’t seem to stop. “Why don’t you just take off and let me live my life Dean. You’re holding me back, just like you’ve always done. You’re not my father Dean, you’re not my Dom. I can make my own decisions and I don’t need you” he shouted. “You…”

“Enough” Dean stated unyieldingly and immediately Sam stopped. Dean had rarely used that tone when Sam was growing up but when he did Sam obeyed without question. It always meant he had gone too far and even though he hadn’t heard it in many years the tone was unmistakeable. It had always meant Sam would have difficulty sitting for a few days and despite knowing his brother wouldn’t spank him now, he couldn’t help the unconscious act of using his hands to try and cover his arse. Despite the seriousness of the situation Dean’s eyes flashed amusedly at the gesture before schooling back into a serious expression. “Sit” he ordered, pointing at the table and chairs and Sam didn’t even hesitate to follow the order.

Dean also sat down and looked straight at him. Sam clenched his jaw and returned the gaze without flinching. Dean sighed and shook his head briefly “What was that about Sammy?” he asked, his severe voice tinged with real affection and curiosity and a hint of hurt. Sam felt awful at the way he had spoken to his brother, he really hadn’t deserved that.

“Nothing” he replied, turning away.

“Sam” Dean stated, expecting his question to be answered.

Sam suddenly felt boxed in, like a caged animal. There was nothing he could say that wouldn’t give away his feelings. He stood angrily, desperate to get away from the situation, “Nothing, I said” he spat out, turning away from his brother.

The next thing he knew he was turned around and pushed back forcefully against the wall. His brother had been careful as it hadn’t hurt, it was simply a demonstration of his dominance, an older sibling to the younger. “I don’t know what that was about Sam but you will not speak to me in that matter, do I make myself clear?” Dean kept his voice even and unyielding. Sam stared wide eyed as his brother held him with one hand pinned to the wall. He felt unable to speak and simply blinked. “His brother pushed at him warningly, “I said do I make myself clear”

“Yes Sir” he whispered submissively, baring his neck slightly in supplication.

The next thing he knew warm lips had descended on his and a hard body was pressing him into the wall. Oh my god, Dean was kissing him, he realised and he kissed back, allowing his brother to set the pace but making it clear it was welcomed. His hands were being pinned to the wall as Dean kissed him frantically and he couldn’t think beyond the warmth of the lips, the heat of the body and the endorphins running through his body. And then it was gone.

“Oh god Sammy” Dean whispered in horror, stepping away from his brother and Sam had no idea what to do or say, he felt lost. “I’m so sorry” his brother stated frantically. “I shouldn’t have done that. I got caught up in the moment and god you were so submissive” He turned away running both hands through his hair distractedly. “Oh my god I took advantage of my own brother” he muttered, his voice rising slightly in panic. “Oh god, oh god….” Dean was pacing the room and Sam was struggling to make sense of it all. He wanted to help his brother, to stop Dean’s pain but he also wanted that moment again, wanted to feel his brother’s lips, to feel the unmistakeable joy that had been present in that moment and not the pain that was blanketing him now.

He whimpered softly and in a split second Dean was there, “Come” Dean grabbed his arm gently and guided him to the bedroom. “I am sorry I made you feel like this Sam, I never meant for you to get hurt” he sighed and Sam didn’t know what to make of that statement “Come on now, into bed” he commanded softly. Sam followed blindly, Dean was the only one that had ever managed to put him into such submissive head spaces so easily. He trusted Dean like he had never trusted any other. He was placed into bed and could feel the mattress dip beside him as his brother lay down. “I’m here Sammy, but…” he hesitated “you’re crashing and I really want to hold you but after what I just did I don’t know if you feel safe. I’m sorry Sammy but what should I do? He asked helplessly “Sam grabbed his brother’s arm and pulled it towards him and then he was wrapped up in that familiar hold, lost in the pain of having something he wanted so close but never further away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the lovely comments, they really help a gal to keep motivated. This is a bit of a longer chapter as It's heading towards the more exciting stuff in the following chapters (e.g. smutty goodness!) Thanks for keeping reading x

Sam awoke slowly to the sound of his alarm, cursing silently at the relentless high pitched squawking. He slammed his hand down on the cease button, groaning as the early morning light invaded his senses. As the sleep fog cleared he was suddenly assaulted by images of the previous night. Freezing, he tried desperately, without moving, to determine if his brother was still on the bed behind him. After a few seconds of silence he shifted round and his heart sank to see Dean wasn’t there. He knew rationally he shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still hurt. Of course his brother wouldn’t want to have stuck around for the early morning awkward conversation. Dean had done his duty as he would have done with any sub and probably wanted to get as far away from his pathetic little brother as he could. Sam swore out loud, angry with himself that he continued to be such a fucking loser. Every time Dean was around he became such a needy little sub. Dean must have realised by now that he had kissed him back. He must have realised how Sam felt about him and had scarpered as quick as possible. His self-loathing was twisting up inside his gut as he wished he could stop being so damn pathetic. Swearing, he threw himself out of bed, determined not to be any more pathetic than he already was. He showered quickly, threw some stuff in a bag and headed to the gym.

As he ran, he couldn’t stop the thoughts of last night no matter hard he pushed himself. He could feel his anger and hurt rising and then it gave way to feelings of worthlessness and loneliness and then finally to determination. By the final few minutes of the run he had resolved that he wasn’t going to live his life pining for his brother and he wasn’t going to slip into despair. He had managed to cope leaving his brother the first time and this time he wold make it official. He would do anything he could to get Daniel to collar him. Maybe he would never love Daniel, but he would be safe and cared for and in return he’d try to make Daniel as happy as he could. He felt a bit guilty that he had kissed Dean last night but resolved that from now on he’d throw everything he had at being the best sub Daniel could ever want. Feeling now determined he finished his run and headed straight for Daniel’s apartment.

He arrived at Daniel’s apartment resolved to do whatever was needed to get Daniel to collar him and to push the thoughts of Dean from his mind. He knocked on the door, bouncing on his feel slightly in anticipation. What he hadn’t expected however was to see a Stoney faced Daniel open the door.

“What do you want Samuel?” the other man asked coldly.

Sam hesitated, taken off guard by Daniel’s demeanour. “I’m sorry Sir, are you busy? I didn’t mean to intrude”

“No I am not busy” he replied, refusing to elaborate.

“Have I done something wrong Sir?” he asked softly.

Daniel smiled nastily “Well you should know” he stared for a few seconds at Sam’s uncomprehending expression and then sighed, before pushing open the door “Well come in, I’d rather not have this conversation in the hall” he turned without saying another word and Sam followed him inside, closing the door.

“Sir, may I know what I have done to anger you?” he asked, still confused at Daniel’s treatment.

The older gentleman turned to him, his face again set in a mask of stone “Did you have a nice time at dinner last night?”

Sam’s stomach dropped at these words, now realising why Daniel was so upset. “I’m sorry” he replied sincerely.

Daniel sighed again “Did anything happen?” he asked.

Sam swithered on whether to tell him the truth or not and decided that he needed to get it out in the open. He dropped his eyes. “Yes I’m sorry Sir, we kissed. It was a mistake and it will never happen again. I don’t want to see him again” he replied sincerely. He truly wished never to see Dean again, so he could start to move on. “”I don’t want to lose you Sir”

“I am sorry Sam. Your behaviour is unacceptable. You embarrassed me. My friends saw you out for dinner and I would not be able to face them again if I simply continued our relationship.” Daniel stated, emotionlessly.

Sam dropped to his knees, pleadingly “Please Sir, is there no way that I can make this up to you”

“I do not see how Samuel” he stated almost sadly “You had dinner with and kissed another man, I would not be able to be seen in public with you” Sam felt awful, he had hurt someone and he was about to lose a second man in one day, confirming to him exactly how worthless he was. He couldn’t bear the thought of being alone after everything that had happened and would have done anything in that moment to avoid it. “Unless…” Daniel continued and Sam’s eyes shot up “If you were to agree to complete a prescribed punishment this would allow us to be seen in public again”

Sam’s eyes widened in horror “prescribed punishment” he repeated disbelievingly.

“Yes” Daniel confirmed “This would make it clear that you accepted your mistake and your punishment and therefore were committed to the relationship. Daniel stared at him but Sam had no words in that moment. After a few seconds Daniel continued softly “I would then know you were committed to the relationship and would be able to offer you my collar. Shall you do this for me Samuel?”

There were so many thoughts and emotions going on he found it difficult to discern them; terror, hope, guilt…the list was endless. He dropped his eyes and remembered his resolution. He had determined that he would do anything to get Daniel’s collar and here was the chance “Yes Sir” he agreed resignedly.

Daniel pulled him from the floor, “Good Boy” he muttered kissing him softly before turned away, searching through his desk for some paperwork. Sam stood silently unsure what to do, “You will phone your work and take some of your annual leave. You will need at least two days, though I recommend three. We will leave in one hour, you will not need anything with you. I have some things to prepare. Ensure you are ready in exactly an hour. Do not keep me waiting” he ordered matter of factly.

Sam walked into the bathroom and locked the door before turning to stare at himself in the mirror. He looked deathly pale and the fear was evident in his dilated pupils and shocked expression. He phoned his boss and had no difficulty in booking the three days he needed. He knew he would need the extra day after three days of prescribed punishment. He sat on the toilet seat, attempting to mentally prepare himself to phone his best friend. He knew she would worry if he suddenly took annual leave, and he wouldn’t be able to phone her until after the three days had passed. He tried to lie to her but she saw right through it. She was angry at him for agreeing and pleaded with him to change his mind. Finally realising he was determined, he was shocked to hear her sob and felt even guiltier for the mess he had made of things. He promised to himself he would make it up to her when he got back. She made him promise to phone her as soon as he was able and he ended the call feeling worse than when he started.

In exactly one hour he was physically, if not mentally, prepared to leave and received a look of approval from Daniel. They made their way to the centre in silence and many times Sam came close to asking Daniel to turn the car around, but then he remembered what he would be returning to, an empty apartment, and resolved to see this through. They arrived at the centre and were shown into a waiting area, where Sam had to fill out a standard set of forms. He completed them in a daze, barely absorbing what he read. Words sprang out and stuck however; whip, pain, liability, rules… He felt sick, trying desperately to block out the stories he had heard and books he had read on prescribed punishment.

“I am proud of you” the words interrupted his thoughts and he turned to see his Dom-to-be smiling at him. He smiled back half-heartedly and reminded himself why he was doing this.

Before he could mentally prepare himself they had called him through and he was being led away from a smiling Daniel. As soon as he was through the door, the guard who accompanied him grabbed him roughly by the arm and pulled him into a further room. “Kneel” he barked pointing to the middle of the room. There were three other subs in the room, all kneeling and staring at the floor. One young girl sobbed, mirroring his own internal feelings.

A second Dominant guard walked into the room and banged a stick hard against the floor, making everyone jump. “Listen up, you worthless little rats” she began “You are here for prescribed punishment. If you don’t know what that means you shouldn’t be here” she stated menacingly “Whilst you are here, you will not talk unless spoken to directly, you do not look at any guards in the eyes and you will address all guards as Sir or Ma’am. Do I make myself clear?” she suddenly shouted.

“Yes Ma’am” Sam replied softly alongside the other submissives in the room. His stomach was so knotted he felt sick. He couldn’t believe he had agreed to this. He found the whole concept barbaric and thought places like this should be shut down, so he was struggling to come to terms with how he could have voluntarily agreed to participate. The whole concept was a throwback to the era when subs were owned and “needed to know their place”. Those who had angered their dominants would be sent for prescribed punishments, where they would be beaten, cowed and shown what it was like to be a “true submissive”. Nowadays the practice was voluntary and centres were few and far between but they were still legal. Submissives could book themselves in for three days of punishment, and whilst there would be no lasting physical damage from the physical punishments the emotional impact of being verbally beaten and locked away could have lasting effects. Many groups had campaigned for the centres to be made illegal but as they were voluntarily entered by the submissives it made the arguments difficult. Everyone knew however that nearly all the subs who entered the facility were either; too scared of their dominant to disagree, emotionally blackmailed into it, had such low feelings of self-worth they believed they deserved it or had some pretty extreme fetishes.

“You will follow all rules set down to you and will accept all punishments” the guard continued. She stopped and then sniggered nastily “You definitely won’t like what happens if you fail to follow the rules” and Sam shivered in dread at the ominous tone in her voice. He heard another sob from the young girl and then a whistling, crack and a high pitched scream. He forced himself to stay still, kneeling with his eyes glued to the floor, though he was desperate to help the girl. “Silence, you little whore” the male guard hissed, obviously having been the one to deliver the punishment and the sobbing ceased immediately though he could hear heavy breathing in its place.

Sam was just resigning himself to three days of hell when the door flew open and one of the guards began cursing “Who are you?” he yelled and Sam could hear heavy footsteps heading towards the door.

“Guard Franklin, this is Chief Inspector Mark Desmond” another man replied simperingly. “Unfortunately, there has been a bit of trouble and one of the submissive’s in this room is wanted for questioning in a police matter. I think it would be best if he is removed as quickly as possible” Sam could hear the worry in the man’s voice and he could just imagine how uncomfortable he must be to have the police poking around his establishment.

Guard Franklin’s tone changed immediately “Of course, who are you looking for?” he asked nervously with an attempted air of nonchalance that he was failing to pull off.

“His name is Samuel Cain” and Sam’s head shot up at the familiar voice. Dean was deliberately trying not to look at him as he gave the name Sam had been using since he moved here. Almost instantaneously Sam was ushered out of the room, handed his personal belongings and frogmarched to the waiting “Inspectors” car. The fact that the guards failed to notice that Impalas are hardly standard issue police cars showed how truly nervous they were to have police in their facility.

Sam had difficulty reconciling with the recent events and sat silently as he waited for Dean to finish his conversation and enter the car. “Thank you. I will be sure to note how co-operative your facility has been in this investigation” he heard his brother state and then some gushing reply by the whimpering manager. Eventually Dean was able to extradite himself and plonked himself into the car. Sam said nothing as Dean drove for a few minutes, away from the facility and pulled up at the edge of the road a safe distance away. Dean killed the engine and then turned to face Sam, his face barely containing the rage that he so obviously felt. When Dean eventually spoke however the words were delivered in a calm, formidable tone,

“OK Sam. you and I are going to talk and neither of us are leaving here until I get the whole god-damned truth”


	8. Chapter 8

_“OK Sam. you and I are going to talk and neither of us are leaving here until I get the whole god-damned truth”_

“I…” Sam began before trailing off, unable to even think of where to begin.

“Seriously, what the hell did you think you were doing?” Dean exploded “For Fuck Sake” he seethed slamming his hand against the steering wheel.

“How did you even find me?” Sam replied harshly. He could feel all the emotions building within him and unable to handle them they were giving way to an uncontrollable anger.

“Don’t dodge the question. Of all the fucking insane things you have done, this has to be the craziest. What could possibly make you brush aside all your values and put yourself in a position like that? Dean spat, “Why Sam?”

“I was doing what I needed to Dean” he snarled, desperately wanting to either escape or punch something.

“What do you mean needed to? You can’t honestly expect me to believe you would willingly want to be with someone who would ask you to do…that” he spat, gesturing vaguely behind him. “Tell me the truth Sam” he ordered, staring at him angrily “Why are you with someone like that?”

“Because he fucking wants me” Sam screamed, feeling the last tendrils of control leave him.

“Of course he fucking wants you, who wouldn’t? That doesn’t answer my question” Dean shouted back

“You don’t” he screamed and Sam froze, paling instantly. There was a moment of stunned silence permeating the car, neither moving. Dean looked at him in shock and Sam turned away, cringing, afraid of what he had done.

“Of course I want you Sam” he replied quietly, all traces of anger gone from his voice. “Is that what this has been about?” When Sam failed to answer he continued “Look at me”. Sam turned his head and slowly drew his eyes up to look upon the familiar beautiful face. Dean touched his arm softly “Is that why you left, because you thought I didn’t want you?” he asked gently.

“I knew you’d never want me” he replied whisperingly. He tried to turn away but Dean grabbed his chin softly.

“How could I not want you?” Dean asked in disbelief, “You are the most amazing person I ever met. I couldn’t imagine loving anyone more than I love you.” Sam scoffed, unable to believe Dean’s words “No Sam, listen to me” Dean ordered “I have wanted you for years, and it’s got harder and harder every day to hide it. When I realised you hadn’t been taken, and had actually run away, I thought it was because you had realised my feelings for you and were disgusted.”

Sam looked at him, unsure “Why did you never tell me?”

“Because it was my problem, not yours and I never wanted to take advantage of you. I’ve never wanted anything but what’s best for you Sammy.” Dean replied sincerely.

“I know that Dean” he stopped and sighed taking the plunge “I love you Dean. I’ve wanted you as more than a brother for years and I couldn’t take it anymore, that’s why I left. I never thought you’d feel the same and I needed to get away before I lost my sanity” he replied.

Dean laughed and Sam looked up abruptly feeling hurt, before seeing the warm smile on Dean’s face “I swear to god we are idiots and you are going to be the death of me Sammy”

Sam smirked, “Isn’t that what little brothers are for”

Dean growled and grabbed the back of Sam’s head, dragging his face forward until he could feel the warmth of Dean’s breath “I want to make you more than my little brother” he stated darkly and Sam’s breathing sped up as he nodded his consent. “Be sure”, Dean stated “Because if we do this, that’s it. You are mine and I’m never letting you go. So be sure that this is what you want” Sam nodded again, needing no time to think. “I need to hear you say it Sammy” he ordered

“I’m sure Dean, it’s all I want. I’m yours” he breathed and he had barely finished the last syllable before Dean had attacked his mouth. It was like something inside him exploded. Great bundles of pain burst apart in that moment to be filled up with a sense of warmth and hope. Dean growled again low in his throat, kissing Sam with an urgent need. Sam kissed back just as fervently, pouring all his feelings, his love into that moment. It was amazing, inexplicable. He didn’t need to hold back, didn’t need to hide his feelings anymore and it was like a freedom. Dean continued to kiss him like there was nothing else in the world and for a few moments they were completely lost in each other. Eventually Dean pulled back, his pupils dilated in lust and Sam panted, both wanting more and feeling like he might explode at the same time. Dean grinned knowingly, straightening up and starting the car. Sam looked at him in shock as Dean simply settled back into the seat and pulled away, humming gently to himself.

“You…” Sam began, about to utter some less then complimentary phrases when Dean held is hand up without looking at him.

“You may want to think carefully before you finish that sentence” he warned, his voice a mixture of playfulness and danger. “You are mine now. Do you really want to spend the evening over my knee?” Sam blushed as his cock rose unbidden at Dean’s tone and he had no idea what to reply, he quite liked that idea actually. His brother smirked, glancing at him quickly before returning his eyes to the road and they sat in silence for a few moments while Sam calmed himself.

“How did you know where I was Dean?” he asked when he was finally settled again.

“Bes” Dean replied and Sam looked at him curiously “When I returned to your flat and you were gone I went in search of you and I phoned Bes”

“You came back?” Sam asked a little shocked.

“Of course I came back Sam” his brother replied, shaking his head in disbelief. “I was gone less than an hour, did you even look at the note on the table or did you storm out thinking I had abandoned you” Sam blushed and the other man rolled his eyes. “I had to meet a contact and if I didn’t go I wouldn’t have had another shot. I didn’t even think you would have woken up by the time I got back”

Sam processed his thoughts for a while and wondered why he always jumped to conclusions and allowed his negative thoughts to take over. To this day Dean had never let him down and he should have thought things through. He sighed internally and vowed to try harder in the future.

“Thank you Dean for coming for me” he said sincerely. He wanted to say a lot more but he wasn’t sure how to even make sense of his own thoughts and feelings.

“I always will” Dean replied and Sam realised how much Dean truly meant that. It made him feel warm and peaceful. Dean was such a mixture of excitement and safety that it was hard to ever put him into words.

“I wish I didn’t have to leave the others in there” he sighed guiltily.

“Mmmm” Dean replied a hint of amusement in his voice “I heavily implied to the owner that there may be an undercover cop in the centre and that I was providing this information as a thank you for his co-operation. By the end of our conversation he looked deathly pale and I suspect that the submissives are likely to receive the lightest treatment possible. He will be so terrified that he’ll be shut down, he’ll be reluctant to do anything” His brother snorted and Sam stared at him in silent gratitude. Dean looked at him and colour rose up his neck. He coughed dismissively “It was the best I could do Sam”

“Thank you Sir” Sam replied meaningfully, feeling a guilt lift from his shoulders.

Dean stared at him intensely for a split second as if he wanted to devour him and Sam guessed that his brother was feeling a little turned on.

“So” Dean coughed “I feel like I should take you on a date…”

“Don’t you dare” Sam snapped and Dean glanced at him in shock “You take me home right now and fuck me”

Dean snorted “Pushy little Sub aren’t you” and Sam blushed unable to believe he had just said that. “Very well” he replied. He lowered his voice to a dominating tone “You’d better be prepared boy, because once I get you home I’m going to claim you. I’m going to fuck you until you beg and I’m going to make you scream. By the end you are going to have absolutely no doubt of who you belong to” he promised and Sam’s Dick so recently calmed, filled to an almost unbearable hardness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explicit gratuitous sex scene!!

Dean didn’t utter a word for the entire journey and this only served to drive Sam’s arousal higher. Dean ignored him completely, tapping and humming along to his stereo, as if Sam was of little consequence. He was on edge, a mass of nerves, desperate to know what Dean might do to him. He kept running through all the fantasies in his head that had fuelled many orgasms over the years. He wanted to ask his brother for a hint but Dean’s actions were making it clear that he expected Sam to sit quietly, to obey, and Sam could feel himself skirting the edges of his subspace.

They eventually parked outside of Sam’s building and he could feel his breathing speeding up in anticipation. Dean got out the car and as Sam exited his brother was waiting for him. He closed the door, still unable to speak and Dean moved forward, invading his personal space causing Sam to back up and press himself against the car. Dean pushed forward gently, his eyes burning holes into him, and his stomach somersaulted with arousal. His brother looked formidable and Sam swallowed hard before dropping his eyes in submission. Dean grabbed the back of his hair tightly and kissed him hard for a short few seconds, a kiss that was full of promise of what was to come. Fire exploded in Sam and his knees buckled slightly at the dominance so inherent in that kiss. Dean pulled away, turning towards the building. He grabbed the back of Sam’s neck firmly in a claiming grip and marched him forwards. Sam was starting to feel incredibly needy and frustrated and he was forced to walk with his bag in front of him to hide the evidence.

“Eyes down, do not speak” Dean ordered in a low voice and Sam obeyed without thought. “Afternoon” he heard his brother state and a solitary voice replied in same. He could feel the grip on his neck tighten slightly as he was marched past the unnamed person, forbidden from speaking. The gesture declared to the world that he was owned and that he was completely submissive to this Dominant. No other Dominant would ever touch him again without Dean’s permission and this sent a further spike of arousal through him.

He was marched up the stairs and after handing his key to Dean he was pushed firmly into the flat. Within seconds he was pushed up against the wall, his hands pulled up and pinned above his head as his brother attacked his mouth with abandon. He groaned into the kiss, and rocked forward, attempting to find some friction for his aching cock. “Mine” Dean growled, pulling away from the kiss and Sam whined. “Keep your hands there” Dean ordered as he pulled away. Sam obeyed and Dean began unbuttoning Sam’s shirt. When his chest was revealed Dean bent forward and sucked harshly on one of the nipples. Sam panted loudly, desperately trying to stay focused enough to keep his hands in position. By the time Dean was attacking his second nipple Sam was losing control and was whining and panting desperately.

“I thought I told you to keep your hands in place?” Dean questioned dangerously and Sam realised too late that he had dropped his hands. He quickly put them back in place and dropped his eyes in apology. Dean unbuckled Sam’s belt and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down to reveal Sam’s achingly hard cock. Dean pulled him towards the kitchen table and then pushed him forward over the table until he was bent over, his ass in the air. “When I tell you to do something, you will obey” Dean stated sternly, “Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Sir” Sam panted without hesitation, his cock beginning to leak as a response to Dean’s dominance.

“Ten swats” he declared, “You will count each one” His brother spanked him and Sam counted them. The swats were measured. They weren’t intended as real punishment but to heighten Sam’s arousal. They were just hard enough to show Dean’s strength and to leave Sam in no doubt that his brother would well be able to dish out a real punishment if required. Sam didn’t think he could be any more turned on. In so many of Sam’s fantasies his brother was strict and formidable and Sam could feel himself starting to fall further into his submissive headspace.

When Dean finished Sam dropped to his knees, his hands clasped behind his back “Thank you Sir” he stated gratefully and he could hear Dean’s breath hitch slightly. He smirked inwardly “May I make it up to you Sir” he asked sweetly and he heard his brother growl in frustrated arousal. Within seconds Dean had unbuttoned his jeans and grabbed Sam’s hair, hauling his head back. Before he had time to think Dean was shoving his cock into Sam’s mouth. Sam groaned and grabbed onto Dean’s legs to keep himself from collapsing he was so turned on. This had been an almost nightly fantasy of Sam’s. Him on his knees with Dean’s cock in his mouth and Dean completely domineering, using his sub for his own needs. Sam put every effort into his task he basked in the wicked sounds that his brother was making as he pounded into his mouth. Dean smelled better than he ever thought possible, masculine and wild and he became so lost in the moment that it was a shock when Dean pulled out of his mouth.

“Strip and get on your knees on the bed” Dean barked, leaving no room for argument. Sam jumped up to obey and within seconds was in position. He needed Dean in him, he was losing control and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold on. He wanted to be claimed by the older man. To feel completely owned and completely submissive. He could hear his brother behind him, growling in frustration as he struggled to remove his boots, lost in his sexual need.

Dean climbed onto the bed and hands began to explore him, spanking him roughly every few seconds. He wanted to cry with need, panting and whining as his new Dom made himself intimately familiar with his body. Suddenly Dean grabbed him roughly and pushed him face first up against the wall. He panted in desire and could feel his cock straining for release. He heard noises behind him and then fingers were probing into his hole. He clawed onto the wall, keening and moaning.

“Please Sir” he begged

“Please what boy” the voice behind him growled almost animalistic. As he was slipping into his subspace, it was clear his brother was falling into his topspace.

“Oh God please fuck me Sir” he panted, wailing as a third and fourth finger were added. “Please, please, just take me Sir. Please use your boy” he begged, clamouring to remain upright amongst the assault of electricity running through his body. He desperately needed Dean to take him now. Within seconds the fingers were removed and he could feel the head of Dean’s cock push past his defences. It was tight, it burned, it was fucking perfect. He felt owned, like Dean was taking what was rightfully his. They fucked roughly, panting and moaning in need as Dean used his body.

“God you’re fucking amazing” Dean panted “And you’re mine boy” he growled as he continued pounding into him roughly, and Sam lost himself to his subspace. He could feel every movement, every thrust and he felt completely in sync with Dean’s movements, like he was an extension of himself. He wanted to come badly but he wanted to please his Dom and there was no way he’d come without permission. Dean fucked him for a while longer and then his thrusts increased in speed and he began to growl harder. “Come boy” he ordered in a voice almost lost and Sam’s body obeyed as if Dean’s word was law. They came together, screaming a release that was years in the making and Sam floated in his subspace and the endorphins.

Without any clarity of how he got there, other than some definite movement, he was lying down and being wiped clean. He keened as the warmth of Dean’s hands were removed but in seconds they were back. “Shhh” he heard whispered softly into his ear and he was pulled backwards and was wrapped up in his brother’s arms, his back to Dean’s chest. He was exhausted and on the edge of sleep as Dean kissed the side of his face deeply. “You are beautiful Sam” he whispered and Sam felt a warmth spread through him that he had never felt before. He’d never had anyone who had made him feel this safe before whilst in his subspace. Normally afterwards he was left alone and feeling lost and empty and even when there had been someone else there they hadn’t cared enough to give him the aftercare he needed.

“I love you” he murmured sleepily and he felt another kiss on his head.

“I love you too Sammy. You’re mine now and I’m never letting you go” and for the first time in his life Sam felt truly and utterly happy.


End file.
